Daniel MacDougall
"As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live." — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Why do some people possess so much confidence they seem to brush their teeth with it? They can be authentic no matter who is in the room and confidently stand their ground when challenged. You look upon them only to feel they possess something you do not or there is something unattainable about their character. However, this is an inaccurate perception of the world and human behavior. In this article, we explore a few ideas to cultivate confidence, and with practice, you may care less about other peoples' opinions. Remember, confidence is an art to practice daily, not something that spontaneously happens.
I.
Practice self-acceptance. Begin to embrace who you are for all your faults and strengths, and cut those mental strings tying you to what others might think of you. If you spend time ruminating over what others think, you will never build up that confidence barrier.
Did I say the right thing? Was I funny? Did I offend that person the other day, or will purchasing certain material items bring admiration from others? This internal dialog can go on and on until you spiral into reclusion. Of course, do not go about your day being rude and hostile. Try going about your day being genuine. Have confidence in that little voice inside you that keeps you in check. You know what you're doing. If you don't, don't sweat over it. Life is about learning and growing. Everyone has weaknesses they don't like. Everyone has confidence issues to some extent or the other. You don't have to be the funniest person or have better possessions to feel good about yourself. Being alive is enough, and being yourself is enough. Start with that.
II.
At all costs, avoid negative self-talk. Refrain from telling yourself you can't do something or engaging in thoughts that you are unworthy. Refrain from saying negative things about yourself to others. When feelings of self-doubt creep in, silence them and address those negative barriers over time. You may not have the courage for that difficult conversation or approach that special someone today, but you will. Try taking on these negative barriers in steps. You deserve the things you want. Even if you feel you don't deserve it because of past occurrences, then today is the day you're going to work toward these goals. You are malleable and can adjust, but adjusting takes steps.
A good example is approaching someone for a difficult conversation. A head-on approach may not be the best tactic for you. Start by talking about different subjects. It doesn't have to be the issue you can't stop ruminating over. Get the conversation juices flowing on other topics. The issue may rise to the surface organically, and you'll be ready for it.
Overcome self-doubt by finding the positive aspects of your nature, and remind yourself that significant achievements begin with a single step. Remember, The Great Pyramid of Giza started with a single stone.
III.
Practice proper posture. While it might seem like a minor step on the road to confidence, this could have the effect you're looking for. Walking with your back straight and shoulders relaxed signals you are ready for anything. Keep your eyes forward, removing them from the ground. Your posture communicates to the world that you are prepared to face the challenges ahead.
Looking at the ground and hiding in public only invites those hindering self-conscious thoughts. The words timid, nebbish, feeble, and others are great descriptive words for characters in storytelling. They depict the physical image of a coward, hunched-over, eyes on the floor, neck down type of character. Relax and straighten your spine. Physically demonstrate that you are not the timid character in your own story.
IV.
Force yourself out of your current state and into other social circles. Sports provide an avenue to enter an entirely new world or reconnect with past interests. It can be any sport: badminton, pickleball, football. The key is to find an activity you enjoy and make new connections. The important aspect is to force yourself into difficult situations. Meeting new people. Focus on what you suddenly have in common with these strangers. You are joining a team. Ask questions to learn from others. It's okay to be the new person on the team. Try starting with a humble approach. Exercise and social interactions all stem from sports. Find a sport you enjoy and find a way to join. It might not be that difficult to get your feet wet.
Building confidence is a gradual practice. Remember, refrain from negative self-talk, move through the world with proper posture, try new things and meet new people, and most importantly, accept who you are. It's okay to be an awkward person at times. You are not perfect, but no one else is.
Weekly Side Quest:
Jot down on paper the amount of negative things you say each day and the number of positive remarks. Do this for a week to give yourself a visual. If the number of negative remarks greatly outweighs the positive, swing your conversation skills to the positive, and continue to monitor until you see positive changes in how reflect about the world and yourself.
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Author's note: none of the writing was generated or made by AI. Our mission is provide a human touch to our journeys together. Thankyou always, Daniel MacDougall…